Home Sports Michael Irvin once ran the Dallas Cowboy’s charity basketball team. It went...

Michael Irvin once ran the Dallas Cowboy’s charity basketball team. It went badly.

I am a fan of the Dallas Cowboys wait no where are you going I swear I’m still cool.


Like I said, I’m a fan of the Cowboys. It’s my one flaw. But I understand the hate for them, after all I hate them too — that’s what it means to be a fan, baby. Growing up in the 90s made it so my early sports memories are fantastic. However, no level of success could distract from their megalomaniac owner and his henchpersons children who have the opportunity to do a world-changing amount of good without any impact on their standard of living but instead opt for things like a football field sized yacht. It sucks.

But the team has also historically been pretty fun, and if you’re incapable of admitting that much then we’ll settle on the middle ground of interesting. And it was that early 90s squad that made even the team’s charitable efforts fun and/or interesting, thanks to the incomparable Michael Irvin.

Here’s a Michael Irvin story which happened to a former coworker of ours. We were at some hotel or convention center during media week for a Super Bowl that I couldn’t tell you any other detail about. They all blur together when it’s a week spent breathing in the same recycled air day after day and getting the same interviews with the same athletes as every other outlet there. But at some point when my colleague went to the restroom, he was welcomed by the sight of Michael Irvin using a urinal.

Irvin was taking the half court shot of pisses.

Standing well beyond what would make the W.H.O. comfortable, Irvin used the urinal with a pizzazz (pissazz?) reminiscent of his playing days. In case a bystander had missed the spectacle with their eyes, Irvin also proclaimed his pleasure with a loud “woooo.” To me, it is quintessential Irvin — a star at everything he does.

I mention this because I think it’s a clean springboard into this episode of That’s Weird. I have to imagine there is not a single thing that Michael Irvin does in the way you or I would do it. Irvin will always add a flamboyance (to be kind) and make it his own. That’s certainly what he did when leading a charity basketball team where the charity seemed to take a backseat. Check it out above, talk about it below, and have fun everywhere.

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